


Owner of a Lonely Heart

by bokeiji



Category: Formula E RPF
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Introspection, M/M, Pining Jev, Romantic Comedy, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Weddings, oblivious andre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 19:44:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17290220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokeiji/pseuds/bokeiji
Summary: “They seem happy.” Jev remarked, tapping at the picture on the backside.“Yes, I think they are,” André thought back to how he could hear the smile in his mother's voice through the phone when she told him about the proposal, almost like she couldn’t believe happiness had found its way back to her.“It makes you happy too,” Jean-Éric told him with a surprising sincerity in his voice that broke up André’s stream of thought and made him look back at him.





	Owner of a Lonely Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Happy new year everyone!! I hope you all had very happy holidays! My new year's resolution for this year is posting at least one fic/chapter of a fic every month, so this will be the first part of that. I'm still getting back into the flow of writing and this pairing has still to become more familiar for me to write, so the conversations in this don't flow as fluently as I had hoped. Still, I hope you enjoy reading this and it is worthy of filling the gap of fake/pretend relationship fics for this pairing!

On André's table lied a fancy off-white colored card made from thick-cut paper with roses, peonies, poppies, and lilies decorating the corners and swirling black letters at the center telling him he had been cordially invited to his mother’s wedding. Of course, his mother had called him immediately after her boyfriend had proposed to her to tell him the good news. He had written the date in his calendar months ago. Still, it was a nice invitation and the card itself was pretty enough to keep around for a while. After all, he had been the one to help his mother design it and she would most likely chastise him if he would throw it out.

The text on the card read the names of his mother and her fiancé -Rosy and Stefan- and the date and location of the wedding: April 19 in Siena, Italy. All the way on the bottom was another line which was the cause of André’s current psychological demise, namely an urging message to bring a plus one to the special event. His mother had been quite persistent on this feature from the very beginning and it had caused him several headaches over the course of the past months. In fact, he could feel one coming up right now. His mother knew that he had been single for quite a while now, not really having the time or energy to start something new after his last relationship ended. 

When he turned the card around, the back side showed a picture of his mother and her fiancé smiling and being caught up in each other while standing in front of an old castle ready to fall into ruins. He had shot this picture of them when they were on a holiday to Tuscany last year and they were so in love with it that they decided to print it on the card. The picture made him smile, he was happy his mother had been able to find love again after his father had passed away. At the same time, it also sparked a kind of uncomfortable feeling inside of him that was hard to distinguish, but that he didn’t find worth exploring. 

André lied aside the card for now, having to pack his bags for his city trip to Amsterdam with Jean-Éric which they would be leaving for that afternoon. He was really looking forward to travel with his teammate again and the Dutch city would most definitely prove to be an exciting trip. They weren’t allowed to go all out, since it was only their winter break and they would have to be ready for simulation and the Marrakesh race in two weeks, but knowing Jev, they would still make the most of it. 

Amsterdam decorated in Christmas lights and covered in soft white snow would also make a stunning picture and André reminded himself to pack his Leica so he could capture the beauty of the city. 

-

“Can you hold this for me?”

Jev looked away from the movie he had been watching and removed his earbud to hear what André was saying over the loud noise of the plane, but before he could ask him to repeat his question, his older teammate already dumped a stack of papers on his lap.

“Am I your mule now?” Jean-Éric joked.

“Hm,” André answered while rummaging through his bag. 

“What are you doing?”

“Just looking for my sudoku booklet, since you’re hogging the window seat and there are no interesting movies on this thing,” he said while tapping at the screen attached to the back of the seat in front of him.

Jev laughed. “Everyone keeps saying that you’re getting old, but I never truly believed it. Until now.”

“Hey, just because you’re not an intellectual who can appreciate a good Japanese puzzle doesn’t mean we’re all like that,” André shot back and continued looking through his bag.

Jev didn’t reply to his remark so André assumed he couldn’t come up with a witty reply anymore and had just resumed the movie he had been watching, but when he looked up from his bag, he found Jev inspecting the stack of papers that was still laying on his lap. One thing specifically had seemed to catch his gaze, which André recognized as his mother’s wedding card. He hadn’t intended to bring it with him, but it turned out he accidentally shoved it in his bag with his other files when he hastily packed it this morning.

Jev looked up as if he had felt André staring at him. “Your mother is going to re-marry?”

“Yeah, her boyfriend proposed to her a few months ago,” he replied and gave Jean-Éric a small smile.

“They seem happy.” Jev remarked, tapping at the picture on the backside.

“Yes, I think they are,” André thought back to how he could hear the smile in his mother's voice through the phone when she told him about the proposal, almost like she couldn’t believe happiness had found its way back to her.

“It makes you happy too,” Jean-Éric told him with a surprising sincerity in his voice that broke up André’s stream of thought and made him look back at him. He was often told that he comes across as a relatively closed-off person who’s hard to read, so having his teammate point out to him exactly how he was feeling surprised him and made him feel the tiniest bit shy. “I guess so,” he replied with a small smile.

Jev smiled back at him and after handing back the stack of papers to André, he turned back to his screen to continue watching his movie. André tried to do his sudokus but his mind kept going back over Jean-Éric’s words. What he said had been true, his mother’s newly-found happiness made him happy too; he just never realized he was this easy to read. It wasn’t bad per se, he often wished it was easier for people to figure out his feelings, but he couldn’t remember when he had become started to let his guard down this much around Jev. 

He used to be careful around his previous teammates to not let them in too close -at least not beyond an the scope of amicable acquaintances- to avoid bringing pastime mishaps onto the track. Then again, he didn’t remember ever sleeping over at a teammate’s house before he met Jev, but it had quickly become a natural habit for the two of them and he realized he didn’t mind it at all. He looked over at Jean-Éric who was focused on the movie he had put on and smiled; maybe it wasn’t a surprise at all that Jev knew him so well. Maybe he didn’t mind it that much either.

-

Amsterdam welcomed them with open arms, the city completely transformed into a Christmas wonderland for the holiday occasion, with lights decorating the streets and bridges, Christmas market stalls standing along the streets selling _glühwein_ and _bratwurst_ , just like André remembered it from Germany, but not as grotesque. 

During their first full day in Amsterdam, they had mostly split up during the afternoon to go their own way and explore the city. Jean-Éric liked to make good use of the bike lanes all around the city and hired a bicycle to discover some parts that were a bit less well-known outside of the city center. André, however, wanted to take it slower and capture the city with his camera so he mostly strolled around the canals and the small alleys nearby. 

In the late afternoon, André was taking a walk through Vondelpark, feeling disappointed with the amount of snow the Dutch climate had given him during his first hours here. His weather app had promised him at least a full day of snow, but so far it had just been a bare minimum, and it all melted as soon as it hit the ground. The city was still very pretty, but it didn’t look as special as he had hoped it to be. He had wanted to practice taking pictures with the lighting of the snow, but the weather seemed determined to ruin his plans. 

Photography has always been the love of his life, something that made him independent and free to go wherever he wanted to, both in the physical and creative sense of the word. However, while he appreciated the solitude that it brought, he couldn’t help but wish he could share these kind of moments with someone else sometimes, someone who understood him and was just as enthusiastic about photography as him. He didn’t necessarily feel like something big was missing in his life, he didn’t mind being alone and was perfectly content with the way he was living, but on moments like these, while walking through a romantic city and being surrounded by lovey-dovey couples, his heart ached for something more.

-

In the evening, he and Jean-Éric had decided to have dinner together at a fancy yet cozy Italian restaurant called _Pasta e Basta_ , which was located in a more secluded part of the city center, just a street away from the canals. The restaurant was specialized in shared dining, meaning they were suddenly seated opposite each other with a buffet of antipasti spread out on the table in between them. 

The sharp flavor of the _pecorino romano_ André was currently chewing on was mixing perfectly with the richness of the Tuscan _Gaja Promis_ he and Jean-Éric were sharing. 

A combination of the generously flowing wine flowing through his blood and the way the candle light was lighting up his teammate’s face made him look like a masterpiece and he made it hard for André to look away from him. Still, he tried to force himself away from the entrancing view to focus on the delicious food.

“So you will have to bring a plus one to your mom’s wedding?”

André looked up from his plate, unsure why Jean-Éric suddenly decided to bring up this subject. “Yes?”

“Have you thought about who you want to bring?” Jev asked him casually.

“Not really, I’m still debating whether it’s worth the effort to try to convince her I can just come alone.”

Jev chuckled at that. “If you really hate company that much, I can take the hint and go home if you want.”

André rolled his eyes. “You know this is different.”

A mischievous smirk appeared on Jev’s face when he asked, “How so?”

André huffed, not wanting to grand Jean-Éric the satisfaction of giving him the obvious answer to that question. “You know why,” he replied before shoving a forkful of _spianata romana_ in his mouth, hoping to end the conversation there.

Unfortunately, luck was not on his side. “Don’t you think it’s more fun to take someone with you?”

André chewed the meat slowly to give himself time to construct a perfectly noncommittal answer before swallowing, “Maybe so.”

“Then why would you rather go alone?”

He sighed while putting his fork down, accepting his fate of being subjected to Jev’s interrogation. “It’s not that I’d rather go alone.” He left a long silence after that, not really interested to continue explaining himself. Jev didn’t reply but the questioning look he gave André was enough for him to know he wasn’t go to let this go that easily.

“I’m fine going alone because it’s easier. I’m not seeing anyone at the moment and considering my busy racing schedules, I don’t have the time and energy to find someone new.”

In the fraction of a second, almost too short for André to notice, Jean-Éric’s faced seemed to fall, but he regained himself before André could question it. 

“If you really don’t know who to take with you, you could just bring a good friend, no?” The expression on Jev’s face was hard to read, thoughtfulness an apparent opposite of the nervous insecurity of which André couldn’t figure out exactly why it was there. Jev was probably right, he hadn’t thought of bringing a friend yet, caught up in the impossible quest of possibly having to find a love interest before April. It wasn’t such a bad idea at all. Still, his mother would probably be disappointed for not bringing someone he was at least dating.

“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

André looked back at his teammate, shaken out of his thoughts and realizing his reply took too long. “No, you’re probably right, that’s a good idea,” he smiled at Jev who was already smiling back at him. An idea popped up in his head and after pretending to think for a moment, he continued, “I could ask James, my mom already knows him well and she likes him too.” 

Jev’s smile dropped and André could see he was trying hard to hide his obvious disappointment from him, which was exactly what André had hoped for. “Just kidding, you muppet, I think this will be the perfect opportunity for you to finally meet my family after everything I told them about you.”

Jev kicked his shin under the table as he started laughing. “I can’t believe you actually fell for that, you should have seen the look on your face!”

André noticed that Jev was holding back his own laughter. "That was just uncalled for! I'm going to call Mark to demand a new teammate."

André was glad he was able to lighten the mood and joke around with Jev like usual as their main dishes were served to them. They had ordered _risotto confit de canard with pumpkin, cranberry and hazelnuts_ , _lasagna alla caprese_ and _mezzaluna filled with shallot and balsamic, served with spicy salami, walnuts, herbs and deep fried capers_ to share between them.

The plates emptied up as their stomachs filled up and André couldn’t remember having eaten this good in a long time. Jev seemed content too, his cheeks rosy from the wine, his hands behind his head while leaning back in his chair. “I’m excited to meet your family. Especially your mom, she seems like a very sweet person from what you’ve told me about her.”

“Me too, I’m sure she will like you.” He sighed, “Still, I don’t think she will be happy I’m not taking a love interest with me.”

Jev stayed quiet for a moment, seemingly having an internal debate before replying, “I could be your love interest.”

André didn’t know whether to laugh or gape at his teammate, not sure if he heard him correctly or if it was just the wine mashing up sentences in his head. “What are you talking about?”

“We could pretend to be in a relationship,” Jev explained, “Our fans already think we are deeply in love with each other, it shouldn’t be too hard to convince your family too,” he joked. 

André didn’t know what to think of the proposal. “Are you serious?”

He noticed Jev’s cheeks turning a slightly darker shade of pink. “I mean, if you want to. I don’t even know if you’re into men, of course.”

“It would certainly be a way to come out to my family,” André stated, avoiding directly answering Jev’s unasked question.

Jev raised his eyebrows. “So, you are…?” 

The ending of the sentence hung in the air between them, ready to be filled in by André, who took a swig of his wine before giving in. “I don’t like to define my sexuality.” 

A short silence fell between them before Jev gave him a small smile and replied. “Me neither.”

André wasn’t sure what to do with that information. It didn’t come as a complete surprise to him, everyone who was close enough to Jev would have been able to notice his attraction to men, but it made him wonder if Jev had the same suspicions about him. 

Jev cleared his throat. “So you haven’t come out to your family yet?”

André shook his head. “No, I have a few pretty conservative relatives who have no business knowing who I like to fuck. Besides, I wouldn’t really know what to tell them.” 

“You don’t seem like a person who would care about what they think of you.” 

“I don’t, or at least, not that much. I just don’t feel like starting an argument that could split up the family about a subject that is so trivial to me.” 

The look on Jev’s face was almost accusing but André continued before he could say anything. “It has never been relevant enough for me to bring it up, so I didn’t want to bother with it.” 

“Oh.” Jev didn’t seem satisfied with his explanation. “You don’t think it might become relevant to you one day?”

“I never really thought about it,” André sighed. He didn’t like the way Jean-Éric was currently looking at him, disappointment mixed with pity clearly visible in his usually warm eyes; it made him want to give in to him. Somewhere deep inside he also knew Jev was right, he shouldn’t have to hide his true self from his family like this, when it stood in the way of a possible happy future with someone of the same sex, even if it scared the hell out of him. Hiding such a crucial part of him from his family for the past 22 years since he's been aware of it worked on his conscience and maybe the perfect opportunity, in the form of his teammate, had presented itself to him to set that right. 

He sighed again and looked back up at his teammate. “Maybe you’re right, I shouldn’t try to run away from this forever.”

“So, you want to do it?” Something in Jev’s eyes lit up that was hard for André to resist. It was almost as if his teammate had gained some kind of mysterious ability of knowing exactly how to make André agree to everything he proposed tonight. 

“Sure, why not?”

-

After they had finished their after-dinner espressos and paid for their food, they decided to walk back to their hotel to let the food sink down before they would go to sleep. The Christmas lights around the city brought a nice glow over Jev's face and André couldn't resist taking a few pictures of him in the beautiful lighting. Jev seemed to lean into him from time to time while they were walking, bumping their shoulders together and smiling up at him, asking if he could see the pictures he took of him. André couldn't help to smile back at him whenever their eyes met and decided it couldn't be that bad to pretend to date Jev for a few days.

**Author's Note:**

> Pasta e basta is a real restaurant in Amsterdam where I had dinner once when I was 10. The dishes and wine are from their real menu. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are as always very appreciated :) You can also find me over at tumblr @vrstappen!


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